Truth or Dare: A Day in the Life of a Woman
It's my turn in the Truth or Dare Group, and the quite evil Laurie dared me to spend a day in the life of a woman. Specifically, her dare consisted of the following:
pick a day over the weekend to spoil your wife
Today is as good as any day, since she has one of those really bad Summer colds. Anyone who says men are whinier than women when they get sick hasn't met my wife when she has a cold, so it was pretty much up to me to take care of her today, anyway.
Any housework she does..you will do
Despite Laurie's implications, Strix and I pretty much share the housework. We both work full time and we have no kids. There are a couple chores that I do more or less exclusively, and there are a couple that she tends to do, but for the most part we share it all. At any rate, since she was sick, I had to do it all anyway.
She doesn't have to do anything but lay around and enjoy it.
I don't know how much she's enjoying hacking, coughing, and struggling to breathe, but okay.
I want you to wear a full face of makeup and your wife's favorite dress or outfit at home while completing her busy schedule.
Yeah, see, that's a problem. My wife is of Scandanavian descent, and like many Swedes, she can't wear makeup. It makes her break out, bad. So, I wore the same makeup she tends to wear, i.e., none.
I asked her what her favorite outfit was for doing housework on the weekend, and she gave me her favorite sweats and t-shirt. Okay, I know this is weaseling a little, but there was no way I was going to put a full cross-gendered photo of me on the Internet. If my employees ever found it, it would be printed and sent to every cop and firefighter in the county within a day. I'm afraid this is as close as you're going to get to seeing me complete this dare.
we need to see several photos of you completing this dare.
Sorry they're blurry, but Strix took them and she knows I look better if the picture is blurry. I think she put Vaseline on the lens. Here they are:
Here I am in my wife's sweats, T-shirt, and her crocks. She's a little shorter than me, so the sweats are high-water. The T-shirt says "Sisters in Crime" on it. The crocks are too small for me, so I did the rest of my chores barefoot, or I'd have to send Laurie my podiatrist bill. If you notice that the vacuum cleaner isn't plugged in, that's because it's broken and we haven't had the money to get it fixed, yet. That's Paganini in the foreground, wanting to help vacuum. Really, I'm too ugly to wear women's clothes.
Me doing dishes. Does this meet the requirements of the dare? Not really, since I frequently do the dishes.
Me, getting ready to cook lunch. Oh, hey, I frequently do that, too. Notice the double chin. I should probably skip this lunch, but I won't.
I'm I crying from the onion, or because Laurie saw fit to punish me? You be the judge.
The end result. Couscous with dried apricot and raisins. Very tasty, and apparently good for a woman with a summer cold.
Emptying the litterbox. We have one of those roll-away litterboxes. Oh, wait, the only time Strix does this one is if I'm out of town.
Me doing laundry. Oh, yes, I do this, too.
Okay, here's a chore that Strix usually does. Sometimes I'll sweep and she mops, but usually she does both. Since she was sick today and it really needed clean (and because I had been dared to do all the chores anyway), I did both.
Me trying to figure out how the cleaning pad went on the mop, while Baudelaire is trying to decide if it's food.
Hey, I figured it out! Okay, Strix had to show me.
Ha! I conquered it! I mopped the floor with that... mop.
Who takes out the trash? Whoever can't stand the full trash can anymore.
Oh, one more chore. The bills. I pay them. And no, Laurie, I don't do the bills to control my wife's spending or anything. I do it because I was the one to get our finances set up in Quicken and online bill pay.
Comments
Bonus Truth or Dare Points?? LOL...Not in your life. It wasn't bad actually...Although the worming that you did to get out of wearing makeup was mighty sneaky but not unexpected....I never said wear a full face of makeup like your wife..So using her as your excuse to squelch on a dare was well...as I said..expected.
Other than that....You did pretty good...I think you give me far too much credit for my interest in your daily activities and I was perfectly aware that you and your wife probably shared the work load..but you did what I wanted you to do and picked up her share of the load.
Cleaning of the cat box was my personal favorite...It made up for the squelching.
Hope your wife is feeling better...She's a trooper to follow you around and take your photos when she was sick. That's love....
a dare that (ahemm) went a little (ahemmm) overboard
Thank you for noticing!
I never said wear a full face of makeup like your wife
I was hoping to gloss over that fact! (Get it? Gloss? Nevermind.)
She's a trooper to follow you around and take your photos when she was sick. That's love....
Yeah, I guess I'll keep her. ::grin:: I'm glad she was feeling well enough for that, though. It would have taken forever to get these photos using the timer function on the camera.
we aren't commiserating! (what's that mean?) lolz
Are you always this mean?
I tagged Talk is Cheap.
cuz it involved doing things besides photographing. i mean, it said to do these things, not just take a pic looking like. :)
It's okay, Lezlee, it was her dare and that's what she chose, and that's cool. She also gave me extra time to do it, so that was cool. I didn't mind any of it, except that I just can't put cross-dressing pics of myself on the Internet. It's actually feasible that I would lose my job, so I just did as much of it as I could, and it looks like that was acceptible. :-> [Can we all just get along, now? This is supposed to be fun!] Yay...
Thank you Paxton...I'm a little tired of defending a group that I created! Lezlee you told me to take a photo of myself with out make up and pose with a kitchen utensil and have food hanging out of my mouth...You didn't tell me to take a picutre that LOOKED like that...Had I been uncomfortable with it you would ahve gotten me with a pillow case over my head and the claim of a bare face. In fact...I was more freaked about the food thing..there's no way to glam that up. So I found a food that wasn't disgusting to look at...as did the other victim..I mean player. In fact her's was better than mine! I wish I'd thought of it...
Paxton is a big boy..He handled it exactly like he should have. And no Paxton I'm not mean...but I say what's on my mind and butter doesn't melt in my mouth...YUCK!
Ok, I can understand and respect what it is my wife goes through every day, and I can understand and respect the fact that this is supposed to be "all in good fun", but why is it that women "get off" on trying to make a man wear a dress, wear makeup, and do all this other crap "just so you can see what it's like" to be a woman? -So much easier it is for a woman to "play man" isn't it? How UNFAIR can someone be?
There's no good point to this except to demean you and belittle you just so they can laugh at you for a minute. Just like you and Strix, my wife and I share in all of the housework, so I'm aware ENOUGH of what it is some women go through, and I DON'T NEED to wear a dress, or makeup, to prove it.
Besides, most women wear makeup because they're VAIN and too scared to show the world their real faces, and NOT because of any real need.
I've got NO respect for any stupid BS dare that requires a man to "be a woman", even for just a day. That's CRAP, and I'd have no part of it.
How childish some "women" really are...
Dark Knightingale...
Simple reply to you...Don't participate! If you join ANYTHING that is called "truth or dare" you are doing so with knowledge that you might be asked to something that will embarass you a bit but not kill you. Male or Female...It had nothing to do with Paxton's sex. It had to do with a game...and making him squirm a little. That's what "DARE" is all about. What fun would it be otherwise?? Now the beauty of that is that with a little creative thinking you can meet the requirements of a dare without actually DOING the dare! Sure you might get a little razzing but if you feel strongly about NOT doing something..you just either get creative or decline. Let me give you an example....Had paxton wanted to get creative...He could have worn "a full face of makeup" as I stated in the dare...and done a clown face or a zombie or any number of other things besides the "cant think out side the box" female type makeup. For his wife's favorite outfit..He could have put on one of his dress shirts with boxer shorts and said that his wife's favorite outfit was HIS clothes! I made sure I worded things so there was wiggle room..
So lighten up and just to let you know..I did a dare with no makeup! I'm game for whatever dare I get and I don't whine about the injustice of it all later or turn it into a venue to jump on my soapbox and complain about the sexist world women live in....
Gosh Pax, no high heels and net stockings?? I'm severely disappointed. I was hoping for a good old Bowie / Eno revival there. It would have been a blast. Oh well, one can always dream, right?
(ps to Dark Knight's comment, maybe I'm trivializing it, but I think most women somehow get a kick out of seeing men dress feminine, not to demean but instead in a kind of sensual way, kind of bizarre but hey, you men have some pretty freakin' kinky requests of us ladies too, so don't have double standards.)
I'm impressed, Pax. Not with the challenge but with the whole spectrum I've seen between you and Strix, I think you have a very equal and fair relationship and it seems great in general. So cheers to both of you!
He could have worn "a full face of makeup" as I stated in the dare...and done a clown face or a zombie or any number of other things besides the "cant think out side the box" female type makeup.
I actually considered doing that! I had some white and green facepaint from the zombie costume I wore for Halloween last year. In the end I decided not to simply because it was an aweful lot of work for a few pictures. But also because of the last line of your dare: "I'm sure you'll make a lovely woman." I didn't anyone to misinterpret me as saying that women are "clowns" or "zombies."
He could have put on one of his dress shirts with boxer shorts and said that his wife's favorite outfit was HIS clothes!
I thought about this, too. I have a formal black suit and a silver neck tie that she really likes, but again, I didn't think that was keeping in spirit with your last line.
I hope your wife feels better now.
Thank you, Patricia. She's working on it. There's really nothing to do for a cold except wait it out.
Gosh Pax, no high heels and net stockings??
Ha! No, ma'am. No one wants to see that. I would make one ugly woman.
I think most women somehow get a kick out of seeing men dress feminine, not to demean but instead in a kind of sensual way
So that's the appeal behind Kids in the Hall and Monty Python....
you men have some pretty freakin' kinky requests of us ladies too
Buy, Maya, whatever could you mean? ::innocent look::
I'm impressed, Pax. Not with the challenge but with the whole spectrum I've seen between you and Strix, I think you have a very equal and fair relationship and it seems great in general.
Thank you, Maya, but I can't take credit. The credit goes to Strix for putting up with me for the last sixteen years. By now even Job would have thrown his hands up and said, "Ah, I think I'll try Match.com." Assuming, of course, that Job was a woman... and married to me... and spoke English... and lived in the age of the Internet. Other than that, I think my metaphor works.
Sleep usually helps me. And a good book...And chicken broth...You're right nothing helps....
I think zombies are genderless...if not a female zombie doesn't look much different than a male one! haha....I'm guessing that once you are among the ":undead" your gender is the least of your worries.
I've seen some beautiful women in a suit...so the suit would have worked...
Maya...men wearing women's clothing isn't a sensual thing to me!...It's just FUNNY! Men have been doing it for years! John Ritter did it in three's company and we loved it! I believe Milton Berle did it back in the day...Tom Hanks dressed as a woman in a sitcom called Bosom Buddies wih Peter Scolari . John Travolta just did it in Hairspray...and my whole High School football team did it! I agree that it's not meant to demean...A man using that argument better not ever look at porn or buy a girly magazine because there are a lot of women out there that would say that THAT is done to demean for the sheer reason of sexual gratification...At least I didn't ask Paxton to pose on a bear skin rug with a lolly pop in his mouth! haha
hahaha....Lezlee quit hitting Paton's blog!!! HE's getting a big head!
How do you find out how many hits your blog is getting??
How do you find out how many hits your blog is getting??
www.clustrmaps.com
See the map of the world on the left column of my page? (Scroll up from this comment.) Following the link from that map, it tells how many hits I had the previous day (135), and how many hits I've had since July 7th, when I added the map (5,324), and it shows dots on the map for where the people are that have accessed my page.
sorry Pax
'S'okay. Solidarity and all. I understand.
I think zombies are genderless...
Would depend on their level of decomposition, I think. Gross, I know.
I'm guessing that once you are among the ":undead" your gender is the least of your worries.
No, you're pretty much thinking about brains. Brraaains!
At least I didn't ask Paxton to pose on a bear skin rug with a lolly pop in his mouth!
I think you just grossed out my neighborhood worse than the above comment about rotting corpses. A couple dozen women have just been permanently put off sex. Congrats!
Besides, I'm not a hunter. I have no idea where I would find a bearskin rug.
Who said we were arguing?
She merely, and dumbly, thinks I've missed the point of this little "Truth or Dare" thing you're both involved in, and she simply thinks that anyone who doesn't like it shouldn't be involved in it... Which is fine. -I'm not involved, nor will I be. -Especially if this is what they consider to be entertainment.
However, I will say she's been living under a moldy old rock somewhere if she still naively belives that this is solely a "sexist world women live in" when more and more women are in positions of power, firing men from their jobs at will, stealing our children and billing us for it so they have more money to whore around with, and picking fights with men just so they can gleefully have them thrown in jail whether they were hit or not. -Plus, she's apparently unaware of the national "push" right now to stick a woman, or that arab Obama in the President's chair too. Awww, the victims women are nowadays...
BULLS***!!!
If she wants to argue, that's fine... But I don't think we are... -Yet...
Hahahahaha....I've never even SEEN a bearskin rug except on cheesy romance movies where they sit by a fire and sip wine while sitting on one. I've actually seen bear skin and it's not soft and comfy. So I'm not sure what the attraction would be.
As for the decomposition...I don't think it's the amount of the decomp. but the amount of the body part. Small body part...less decompostion...well you get the idea. Moving right along!
Ohhhh LORD....Paxton I just can't ....not even for you. This idiot has got to go!
Laurie